Are the Candles Burning?

I just finished a phone call with my sweet and innocent 4 year old granddaughter. Today is bittersweet for me—sweet because of Sarah and sad because it is my husband’s birthday almost 10 years to the date of his passing away.

Miss Sarah was now aware of my cancer and about the challenge to the body for those who have had it for a long time. Her parents and I talked with her about my body wearing out as I am “old” and to her I am. We explained (separately) that my spirit would live forever with God in heaven and that we would always love each other. She shared that she had cried yesterday when she was told; she is trying to make sense of this fundamentally critical information about life. She understood enough about where I would be and also that I was not there now and we can still talk and play. I also shared with her my belief that when I am in Heaven it is hard to imagine, but I will be able to love her even more than I can now.

I talked about her grandpa Bill who is in heaven. I asked if they would have a cake for his birthday today. She said “I think they are making it right now”. Through my tears I asked if he could blow out all 68 candles on the cake or if he needed help. We agreed that the candles are not still burning.