Assaulted by Television Commercials

I had a senior moment today. Staring at the TV, I could not remember what Hallmark
Show I was watching. Did I have attention deficit disorder? Was I slipping into dementia? Two of the commercials advertised other shows, causing me to believe that I, as well, was watching them.

It was then I paid attention, escaping my lullingly dazed state. During the period we used to receive one or two commercial ads we are now bombarded by 10!
In the disco light blitz I learned that I should:

1.drink only Florida orange juice
2.find my life-long soul mate on E-Harmony
3.absorb the proper probiotics and antioxidants from Ensure
4.chomp on chewy, trusty Twizlers candy
5.consume Bush Beans because of a talking ghost dog
6.have fun and go lean with Kashi
7.clip OFF on everything in its new clip-on form
8.use the new Sweeper Swiffer and throw out my mop and broom
9.go green with natural cleaners
10.drive a Lincoln from Bayway Chevrolet
11.consult Comcast travel and leisure station
12.“Be Myself” on South Padre Island.

No wonder I am confused. Perhaps it is not just my age that interferes with orientation.